Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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