i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
