Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
