Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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