Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
