i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
