I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
