i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
