Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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