I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
