we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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