About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
