We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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