she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
