Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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