Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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