As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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