how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
