The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
