he puts the penis in happiness.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize