if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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