Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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