I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
