She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
