Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
