dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
