No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
