I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
