I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
