why didn't you poke me back
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
