I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i think i have herpe
just one?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
