I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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