the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
