so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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