It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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