I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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