when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
