why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I love you.
Bad choice
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