listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
