Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she pinky promised me she was 18
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
