a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
