Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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