sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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