He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
