I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
