i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
