just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
