So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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