And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize