end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
