11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
