but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize