The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
