FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
