I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
