he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
