I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
