??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
