my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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