Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
