Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize