4 words: hood of his car
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
